I’ve been distracted all week. Well, maybe that’s not quite the right word. More like scattered, I think, my attention and energy all over the place – and in many good ways. I asked the Universe for something fun and rewarding to do for a living and now I’m in the middle of getting prepared for that and it’s a little overwhelming.
This week I had my first vocal coaching session, I took a Mac OS basics course at the library (it’s free!), and, in an effort to improve the look and ease of use of this blog site, I signed up for a class that includes computer coding.
My head was swimming. I couldn’t think of one good thing to write about for this blog and felt that no one would notice anyway if I just skipped a week.
Then the Universe sent me a very powerful message/reminder. Sometimes when I’m writing here, I have the feeling that I’m just spitting into the wind. My friends who know me and love me will comment occasionally, and I’ve had one “stranger” wander onto the site and give some positive feedback, but mostly I am writing for me, and sometimes I wonder if it’s really worthwhile to anyone else.
In the computer coding class, I found an old friend I had not seen in several years. We were very excited to be taking the class, and also to re-connect. I find her inspiring – she owns her own business, has taught at the college level, was a Pilates instructor when I first met her, and is just a beautiful soul, inside and out.
We got together this week to try a little coding before our class this weekend. I was blown away when she told me that she had read all the entries in my blog and that she had found it helpful. She has been going through a life-crisis of sorts, the type of which many of us go through, and she found Kristin Neff’s presentation on mindful self-compassion to be especially helpful (blog post from June 3, “Everything Comes From Desire”).
The takeaway for me was this: if what I am doing is following my heart’s desire, doing what feels completely right in my bones, then I just need to keep doing it. The ego part of me expects myself to have these HUGE breakthroughs, to come up with some kind of “hit single” that everyone is singing, or that my name gets to be splashed in neon across the sky. But it’s the little gestures, sticking to what feels right, even when I think no one is noticing. Getting noticed is not the point of this exercise. It’s sharing my take on the journey.
I’m reminded of a point that Charles Eisenstein makes in his book The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know Is Possible. We are each a unique gift to this world. We each bring a different perspective, one that helps round out the larger picture of why we’re here in the first place. My experiences have shaped that perspective, and it is important to share, so that others may learn from it, and perhaps find more courage to do what they truly love as well.
It’s the openness and vulnerability, the human connection that is of vital importance to me. And I am so incredibly grateful that the Universe sent this gentle but solid reminder.