“Nothing Will Be Unacceptable to You”

I’ve been thinking about why I miss Evelyn so much. I usually don’t grieve for folks who have passed – in my mind I celebrate their transition.

Early this morning I realized that Evelyn had been a tremendous role model for me, and for many others, I’m sure. She had achieved what I wrestle with daily – becoming the Mind of Christ. Jeshua reminds us that when we do achieve that state of mind – “nothing will be unacceptable to you.” (The Way of Mastery, page 90). And that was how it was with her.

As a psychotherapist, she was well aware of the deep fissures in our world over culture, society, race; so many opportunities to pit “us against them.” But she had come to a place in her spiritual growth where nothing was unacceptable to her. She was never in disagreement, never in opposition, never at war within or without. She believed that everything was under the watchful eye of a loving and benevolent Creator, and trusted that the bigger picture was one full of Love.

When she was first diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago, she chose to have surgery, but declined any follow-up treatments. She felt she understood the lesson of the illness, and that was really the only important thing. She had shared with me that her family did not understand that at the time. They encouraged her to “fight” the cancer. But she told them that she did not want to be at war with her own body. No opposition, no discord, only Love. And so, I can see now, that she allowed the cancer to love her to death.

She was very close with her family, and they were kind enough to contact many of us to let us know of her passing. This is how they described their “little sister, Evie.”

If Evelyn knew you even a little, she had love in her heart for you. That’s who she was. She always looked for the best in people. She usually found it. Over the last few weeks, messages from friends and clients came pouring in, stories of love and changed lives and transformation and redemption. As a counselor and psychotherapist, she helped people through some of the most difficult days in their lives. As a sister and a friend, she was everything you could ever hope for – present; funny; wise and loving.

So I can see now why this is so hard. I’ve lost my guide and mentor, someone who walked pretty solidly in Jeshua’s footsteps. I’m grateful for the inspiration she has given me. But for now and a little while longer, I’m gonna miss the shit out of her. And that’s OK.

6 thoughts on ““Nothing Will Be Unacceptable to You””

  1. Thank you so much Gail. You put into words so eloquently and exactly how I’ve been feeling … what a guide , teacher, role model, inspiration, loving soul Evelyn was in my life. No nothing became unacceptable to her. Only love was truly what she chose. She will continue to be that in spirit for me, but in the meantime I miss the shit out of her too. I can hear her laughing right now. Thank you again for your posts Gail. Hug..

    1. Jennie, thanks for your comments. Grief is so personal, I’m sure that most of us feel like we’re going through this all alone. I think it’s important to give ourselves permission to express how we feel, and follow Evelyn’s example of being in harmony as often as possible. Love and hugs to you, too.

  2. Thank you, Gail, for your heartfelt words, I know you are missing her terribly, as are we all, but I must tell you that Evelyn did not refuse further treatment after her surgery. She chose CBD oil and hormone therapy. What she declined, was chemotherapy, and while as a family we discussed openly the pros and cons of that decision, we fully supported her choice, and still do. None of us know what we would choose when confronted with such serious options, Evie’s choice was her own and once she made it the family completely supported that choice.
    Wishing you peace and healing in the coming days, and thanks for your wonderful friendship with Evelyn. She had a special place in her heart for you, as do we.

    1. Thank you for the clarifications, John. All I could relay was what Evelyn had told me. My interpretation was that she declined chemo and radiation. And she did share with me later that when she was clear about her choices, you all supported her unconditionally. I know she felt your love and support at the end. That is all that really matters. Love and Light to you in this painful time. There are so many of us who share your loss. Gail

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